Black Girls’ Day Off

By Kishara Joy Griffin, MSW, Sister Circle Therapist

October 11: Just another day on the calendar. At least, it was just another day until one courageous soul named Tomeka Casanova placed a bold stamp on it, echoing the many messages of Black feminists around the globe: Sis, chill out. 

In 2020, Tomeka Casanova put out a simple but powerful call to action, calling in Black women. That call pulled most of our wigs back and guided us to directly to the kitchen sink to wash and deep condition our hair. Moreover, this very call to action beckoned us — Black women — to acknowledge our physical and mental well-being.  

Created during the height of the pandemic, Tomeka declared, "If I know I need a day off then every Black woman needs a day off." (Blavity, 2024).

She ain't never lied!

With Tomeka's appeal to the sisterhood, I think we can all relate to that statement. The premise of this official-unofficial Black Girl Holiday is simple: self-care, connecting to nature, doing fun activities, engaging rest, and mindfulness. 

A piece of me feels excited for that day. It's like I can already feel the hot oil treatment touching the crown of my head. October 11 — A day where life screams self-care and restoration.   

And yet, a piece of me wanders to think about the women in our community who long to step away from the hustle and bustle of life but can't take a day off. The ones who can't afford to slow down enough to even recognize their burnout.

I also think about the women in the community who are the safety nets of their family structures. And the Black women in Charlottesville who long for community but can't seem to find it. 

I would be flagrant and fake as all get up; if I keep writing blog pieces pushing hope, self-compassion, and intentionality without naming real barriers that exist in Black Charlottesville. 

Y’all it's a desert out here! 

While many of us can be appreciative for the few cultural events that jump off throughout the year and those randomly ordered hair products we stumble upon in local stores, I have to admit — it takes more work in this area to access the things that contribute to our resilience as Black women in Charlottesville.  

Living the life we desire takes more than imagination, self-compassion, hope, and intention. It takes community and resources — it takes already created spaces crafted with enough innovative prowls to capture and sustain genuine community connection. 

But how do we get there?

That's the question on the minds of every vendor, service provider, and person in the community ready to see change in the Black cultural dynamic like no other.

If you ask me, I'd say: Break down the walls of Clicky culture, PERIOD.

Black Girls’ Day off is for a self-care effort, yes, and it's also about developing more resilience in the face of societal pressures and fatigue. And the missing link to this effort is acknowledging community care as being just as important as the self-care to build resilience.

Taking risk to connect with other Black women no matter their socio-economic status can be a starting point. It's time to retire that tired "they not like us" mentality and instead embrace what's real — "YTF" they are! Spending time with people from different economic backgrounds can bridge the gap created by clicky culture. It can open up new pathways for exploration, innovation, and growth. 

The split between the Black professional / student community and the Black residents & essential working community has its historical roots. 

While there may not be a ton of formal research on the specific dynamic, the disconnect is real, and it's felt. 

I said what I said. No takebacks. Argue amongst yourselves as I keep writing !

When you look at things, you start to notice the same faces — show up to the same events, then it hits you; it's not about who is actually there — but who is being left out.   

I tend to believe that the change we want to see won't come from advocacy, community investment, and curated cultural events alone. It will come from deep connections between categorized sector of the Black population in Charlottesville. 

Let's take it back a bit! 

I'm 100% sure that back in the day, when folks were hanging out at the Blue Diamond Nightclub (a Black establishment formerly located in Vinegar Hill during segregation) nobody was worried about who was the "professional negro" and who was the " negro maid.” I'm 1,000% sure the main concern was getting on a good foot and embracing the safety found within the Black-owned and frequented space. 

The thoughts of a time when this Black community once found laughter, momentum and life force in a sustained communal space gets me every time! And then … it bops me on my head as a reminder of what's missing: the very thing that can make Black Girls' Day Off worth playing hooky from work! The warmth of community care and connection, hosted by Black built and sustained structures. A space where Black Women are running to shelter amongst other Black women. 

Basic Aspirations

As so many of us will engage this day independently; and yes, I'm still looking forward to my hot oil treatment this Black Girls’ Day Off — I will still hold space for the anticipation of stronger community structures and the dismantling of Charlottesville's clicky culture that keeps us all living in fragments.

Leading up to this day I'll commit to affirm the Black women in this area who long to be in genuine community. The ones who want to shift from visibility to belonging, and the ones who find rest within the arms of the Sisterhood!

Happy Black Girls’ Day off.

Let it be the catalyst — not just a break!